Monday, May 23, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Pointless and Lame: Now Showing in 3D!
So every bus stop in town seems to be adorned with posters for Never Say Never , the upcoming movie starring Justin Bieber which is losely based on his rise to fame.
For realsies?
According to Wikipedia, this is infact true:
“The film follows the pop star Justin Bieber with footage of performances from his 2010 My World Tour, all counting down to his performance in Madison Square Garden..It also includes scenes of Bieber's childhood, taken from home videos.”
It neglects to mention that there's actually more.. it’s in 3D! Is it a sin in this day and age to venture the idea that maybe, just maybe, not every movie needs to be in 3D??
Let's not get caught up in minute details here though. 3D swooping fringes aside, the real issue at hand is the need for this movie's existence. In my days of pre teenhood, I was satisfied with a straight to dvd (video) release. How is there suddenly a need for a full length motion picture film? A full length motion picture film IN 3D?? From an economists point of view it kinda makes sense I guess: Justin Bieber is after all, a non-renuable natural resource. There is only so much Bieber available for consumption before all Mtv Kids Choice Awards, appearances on Ellen and hilarious (a subjective interpretation) stunts on late night TV have been exhausted. Given the nature of internet and radio media alike the amount of Bieber society consumes is simply just not sustainable. Lukily the world will have completely drained all known sources of Bieber in the next couple of years and we can start to look towards rebuilding pop culture for the future.
Wow. I think society needs this movie as much as it needs a tell all book written by Snooki.
For realsies?
According to Wikipedia, this is infact true:
“The film follows the pop star Justin Bieber with footage of performances from his 2010 My World Tour, all counting down to his performance in Madison Square Garden..It also includes scenes of Bieber's childhood, taken from home videos.”
It neglects to mention that there's actually more.. it’s in 3D! Is it a sin in this day and age to venture the idea that maybe, just maybe, not every movie needs to be in 3D??
Let's not get caught up in minute details here though. 3D swooping fringes aside, the real issue at hand is the need for this movie's existence. In my days of pre teenhood, I was satisfied with a straight to dvd (video) release. How is there suddenly a need for a full length motion picture film? A full length motion picture film IN 3D?? From an economists point of view it kinda makes sense I guess: Justin Bieber is after all, a non-renuable natural resource. There is only so much Bieber available for consumption before all Mtv Kids Choice Awards, appearances on Ellen and hilarious (a subjective interpretation) stunts on late night TV have been exhausted. Given the nature of internet and radio media alike the amount of Bieber society consumes is simply just not sustainable. Lukily the world will have completely drained all known sources of Bieber in the next couple of years and we can start to look towards rebuilding pop culture for the future.
Wow. I think society needs this movie as much as it needs a tell all book written by Snooki.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Park Street: Not Bi-Winning
Last week, due to a sudden bout of unemployment, I found myself lucky enough to catch the first episode of Foxtel's latest homegrown TV series, Park Street. A reality tv show that follows the day to day lives of the editors who work for 5 of Australia's biggest womens' magazines. Owned by ACP the featured magazines included Cosmo, Cleo, Dolly, Madison and Shop Till You Drop. It's kind of like the ultimte Dr's waiting room stash.
Implicitly, these women are meant to be some sort of "Australian Anna Wintours". In reality, it's a d-grade slap in the face to The September Issue. Naturally, I was not impressed. Vogue is arguably the worlds most iconic fashion magazine. The magazines featured on Park Street, however? Not so much. The show has already made a name for itself as the most unsuccesful debut for an Australian pay tv series ever. Not a single viewer tuned in last Wednesday in Melbourne or Adelaide.
One could possibly put it down to the magazine line up. From a company that had other big names such as Harpers Bazaar and Grazia to offer up, Park Street really is slim pickings. Sure, admittedly, when I was 12 nothing gave me more joy then opening a crisp new issue of Dolly and flicking to the 'How Embarrassing' section. ("Dear Dolly, I got my period infront of my whole class. Everyone laughed and now my crush won't speak to me" - Tough break, darl). And of course, who could forget the two issues of cosmo I bought before realising that the world's most comprehensive study on how to give a blow job would bare little relevance to my life? Otherwise though, Cleo? Shop?? For realsies? Not quite the high flying glamazon workplace the producers must have hoped for.
All this passing of judgement kind of got me depressed though. There I was sitting at home unemployed for the second time this year heckling a tv show about woman who actually are employed. Luckily, I have Charlie Sheen's inetrview to cheer me up. I wish I was bi-winning.
Implicitly, these women are meant to be some sort of "Australian Anna Wintours". In reality, it's a d-grade slap in the face to The September Issue. Naturally, I was not impressed. Vogue is arguably the worlds most iconic fashion magazine. The magazines featured on Park Street, however? Not so much. The show has already made a name for itself as the most unsuccesful debut for an Australian pay tv series ever. Not a single viewer tuned in last Wednesday in Melbourne or Adelaide.
One could possibly put it down to the magazine line up. From a company that had other big names such as Harpers Bazaar and Grazia to offer up, Park Street really is slim pickings. Sure, admittedly, when I was 12 nothing gave me more joy then opening a crisp new issue of Dolly and flicking to the 'How Embarrassing' section. ("Dear Dolly, I got my period infront of my whole class. Everyone laughed and now my crush won't speak to me" - Tough break, darl). And of course, who could forget the two issues of cosmo I bought before realising that the world's most comprehensive study on how to give a blow job would bare little relevance to my life? Otherwise though, Cleo? Shop?? For realsies? Not quite the high flying glamazon workplace the producers must have hoped for.
All this passing of judgement kind of got me depressed though. There I was sitting at home unemployed for the second time this year heckling a tv show about woman who actually are employed. Luckily, I have Charlie Sheen's inetrview to cheer me up. I wish I was bi-winning.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The Champion of Bad Taste (Part 4)
It’s been a while I guess. Pretty much the universe (and Apple) has conspired against me and my access to free time and computers- that’s about all I have to offer in the way of explanations. All that matters is I’m back, and the reason I’ve been forced back to my post behind the keyboard is of course, in the name of my raison d’etre: Bad taste.
Behold!
I have discovered what it is to wield the awesome power that comes with wearing lycra and leopard print: Leopard print tights. I’d describe it as an awesome albeit all consuming power. I guess you could say that the tights are to me as Gollum is to the ring. Here’s and artist’s impression if you will:
I’ve certainly enjoyed skulking around the shadows of my house and hissing “my precious” at family members over the past few weeks. Mama didn’t raise no fool though and I’m perfectly aware that any day my joy ride will come crashing down when Cruella Deville demands I return the tights she had made from Marsupalami.
Best Saturday Disney cartoon evs.
Oh and b-t-dubs, Before you start asking where I got my crown diamante of trash I’ll put it out there now: the tights don’t technically belong to me. Technically. I generally work on a lose version of the finders keepers principle. Therefore, the fact that I “found” these beauties in their original owner’s wardrobe is irrelevant. Apparently my tights came from an op shop before that, but who knows. One thing’s for sure though, somewhere in New Jersey a cast member of Jerseylicious (/Jersey Shore) lights a candle nightly in memory of the tights she was tragically forced to sell for her new boobs.
(Just a side note: I found this picture on a blog called "posh <3 honey", the tag line of which read "Gossip's never looked so Classy.....". Thus implying that I am to assume that this picture was the blogs representation of the "classy gossip" other readers must come for. But who am I to judge)
Behold!
I have discovered what it is to wield the awesome power that comes with wearing lycra and leopard print: Leopard print tights. I’d describe it as an awesome albeit all consuming power. I guess you could say that the tights are to me as Gollum is to the ring. Here’s and artist’s impression if you will:
I’ve certainly enjoyed skulking around the shadows of my house and hissing “my precious” at family members over the past few weeks. Mama didn’t raise no fool though and I’m perfectly aware that any day my joy ride will come crashing down when Cruella Deville demands I return the tights she had made from Marsupalami.
Best Saturday Disney cartoon evs.
Oh and b-t-dubs, Before you start asking where I got my crown diamante of trash I’ll put it out there now: the tights don’t technically belong to me. Technically. I generally work on a lose version of the finders keepers principle. Therefore, the fact that I “found” these beauties in their original owner’s wardrobe is irrelevant. Apparently my tights came from an op shop before that, but who knows. One thing’s for sure though, somewhere in New Jersey a cast member of Jerseylicious (/Jersey Shore) lights a candle nightly in memory of the tights she was tragically forced to sell for her new boobs.
(Just a side note: I found this picture on a blog called "posh <3 honey", the tag line of which read "Gossip's never looked so Classy.....". Thus implying that I am to assume that this picture was the blogs representation of the "classy gossip" other readers must come for. But who am I to judge)
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