Don’t you love when you’re sitting at home on a Sunday night, a little worse for wear after the weekend and something totally ridiculous and obscure meanders onto SBS or ABC? It’s moments like these when all you can do is thank whatever cosmic forces aligned to bring you such luck with such impeccable timing. With this in mind, I say thank god for SBS airing Eurovision live from Oslo, Norway on Sunday night and thank god for whatever it was that compelled my family to have SBS on at that very moment when it started.
Not only was it tacky, over the top and magical but I found it quite educational too! In fact, I now consider myself somewhat of an expert on European countries and cultures, most of which I’d never heard of until Sunday. I’ll be honest, I know little about the finer details of these places, like where they actually are or how to pronounce them. Yet I can tell you that an overwhelming majority appear to be populated by some sort of androgynous-electro-forest-nymphs. All those beauties with fabulous jaw lines and flawless skin yabbering away in there cooky “languages” just make me want to jet half way across the world to find the niche that is surely waiting for me amongst them.
For those of you unfamiliar with Eurovision, it’s a European song contest that shits all over anything like American Idol. Representatives from 39 countries across Europe compete in 3 rounds with the top 25 battling it out for numero uno in a final round which is aired internationally. Europeans being Europeans it quikly turns into this bizarre and trashy free-for-all with an incredible array of vocals and talent. This year’s winner was Lena who represented Germany with a song called “Satellites”. Truth be told, I wasn’t really behind Germany on this one. I felt that their performance didn’t sum up what I’d grown to know and love about Eurovision in the 3 and a half hours I spent watching it. I’d probably describe it as a low key indie/pop song devoid of flashy lights, vile techno, hideous dance moves and any wings emerging from ball gowns mid-song (a la Belarus). Jesus, get with the programme Germany!
However, Lena’s performance was in English. Much to my delight her grasp on the English language was very loose and her accent was downright weird. Kind of like she’d spent many-a late night combing through every known accent in the native English speaking world and had at last compiled a staggering portfolio of the worst possible pronunciation of each vowel. Bless. I liked that when she won she tried to give a thankyou speech in English but only managed to say “this is absolutely awesome” before covering her head and face with the German flag- always a pleasing touch. She was then presented with a hideous bouquet that looked like it had come straight from the set of Star Trek where it had just finished filming its role as a Cling-On’s vagina.
My favourites throughout the night included Azerbaijan (which I instantly translated to Azkaban), represented by Safura who sang “Drip Drops”. Allegedly (and I say allegedly, because I just couldn’t see it), the choreography was done by the same person who did Beyonce’s single ladies video. Also, Safura’s dress lit up mid song, MID-SONG! Another favourite for me was Iceland. I liked them for the simple fact they were represented by what appeared to be Beth Ditto’s fairy god mother. I also enjoyed the man who leapt up on stage during Spain’s performance wearing a pink fez and copying the backup dancer’s (who were dressed as clowns) in an attempt to “blend in”. And of course, there was France with their super fun "Allez Ole Ola", and its god awful (i.e. fabulous) choreography!
Low points of the evening included the UK who seem too removed and conventional to be part of Eurovision. In an attempt to get in on the crazy camp antics of their mainland counterparts they overdid the cringe factor of their song and underdid the pizzazz factor of their performance- the results were luke warm to say the least. Other disappointments included Russia, who sound as though they should be the kings of cringe but instead brought out this horrible indie folk band that performed in scarves and sweaters. Excuse me? We have dresses that light up, others that grow wings and robot back up dancers who shoot fire out of their arms (Turkey), and the best Russia can do is an old knitted sweater? Puh-lease!!
The evening ended with a dance that was taught to and performed by the entire audience, as well as the “back at home street parties” being aired as part of the show. Said dance was then taught to the 120 million viewers at home around the world. What fun! My sister and I did our best to keep up, clicking and shimmying in our living room at home whilst being led by men in purple and green leather suits on screen. Quite frankly, I cannot wait till the next party I throw which will undoubtedly have a strict dress code of “Eurovision back up dancer”. Luckily, the majority of the night has already hit YouTube and the 2010 Eurovision best of CD should be out soon so I’ll have something to tide me over as I count down the 365 days until next eurovision!
No comments:
Post a Comment