Babes On Blades

I’ve been none too thrilled about the torrential rain that has inflicted itself upon Queensland of late. My hair is frizzy, I’ve ruined one pair of shoes, and my decrepit umbrella is less an instrument in weather protection then it is a dead bat on a stick. Realistically though, these misfortunes are trivial and frivolous in the grand scheme of things. There’s real problems out there, real issues, real lives- all of which are powerless to the whims of freak monsoon seasons. Case in point, my rollerblade gang has been kept off the streets for over a week now. Yes, you heard right- I AM in a gang. So far it consists of three people and we’re yet to have our first skate. Unofficially and much to the distress of our lone male member, we call ourselves Babes On Blades. Unbeknownst to my comrades I’ve also taken it upon myself to come up with a design for matching tattoos, coz then we’ll be like, totally legit’ n’ shit.

Babes On Blades came into being a couple of weeks ago, when my girlfriend was preparing to ditch me forever and move to Sydney. Unable to take her $300 hardly-ever-worn roller blades with her, I did what any supportive soon to be ex-girlfriend would do: I swooped in and took them for my own selfish needs, thus saving her from having to go through the lengthy process of selling them on Ebay and possibly making some much need cash out of it! Besides, you know what they say, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going... and form a rollerblading gang”.

After the obligatory week or two spent wallowing in Kelly Clarkson levels of pathetic heartache (MY LIFE! WOULD SUCK! WITH OUT YOUUUUU!) I assumed I’d have to do what any self respecting dumpee does and go to the gym to get a hot ex-girlfriend body. “Ugh” I sighed, already depressed at the idea of heaving myself up and down the Coro Drive bike way every afternoon for the next month. But wait! Hold that descent into bitter (albeit toned) ex girlfreindhood for just a moment! As it turns out my rollerblade gang not only gives me awesome street cred, but it also doubles as a great work out. Or so I read on the internet, which means it must be undeniably 100% true.

The facts speak for themselves: Rollerblading burns on average about 285 calories per half hour session. Not bad considering you burn about 350 when running or cycling in the same amount of time. Also, rollerblading gets your heart pumping just as hard as either of the aforementioned (less fun) activities, with heart rates averaging 148 bpm in all three. It’s also beneficial for those worried about their joints who are looking to shy away from high impact sports such as running. AND rollerblading works those hard to reach muscles such throughout the entire upper leg, the derrière and the hips.

Whatta ya know? Rollerblading is totally bad ass and good for your health!