Denim On Denim

Couples fascinate me. There’s this one couple I see ALL the time at uni, they look like they were made for each other. Probably because they both dress like they just escaped from a photo shoot for yen magazine. They also kind of look like brother and sister though, so whatever. Anyway, I’m sure they’ll cling to each other like their ships are sinking when the break up rolls around, because they’ll never find anyone else they go so well with. EVER. For the record, I’d LOVE to post a picture of them here but a) I don’t have one and b) that’s creepy even by my creep-o-metre.

Truth be told though, I have major beef with this kind of couple. Sure they look good; sure they’re a regular Sid and Nancy, a Kurt and Courtney, a John and Yoko. That’s all well and good, but for the rest of us, the manhunt for the perfect match invariably leads to countless coffee dates where the life and times of potential partners are picked apart with surgical precision. Credentials are scrutinized, perfectly good people are dismissed. And for what? Nights of burning anxiety coupled with premonitions of growing old and lonely with too many cats?! Oh please. This line of thinking really brushes me the wrong way. If Dr Phil were a 20 year old lesbian with nothing better to do then stalk couples and blog about it, this is what he’d say:

Couples are like outfits. (I can compare most things to outfits by the way). We’re all just pairs of jeans, running around looking for the right jacket to go with, whatever your cut, style and colour may be. It’s a cold world out there and everyone wants to rug up occasionally. So most people take a look at the jeans they’re sporting and they figure, "oh I know: I’ll find something that MATCHES these perfectly! Right?"

Wrong.

That, my darlings, is the relationship equivalent of denim on denim. My sister recently spent a month in Russia and she told me that in Moscow, denim on denim is all the rage. They also wear things like mesh and vinyl- it sounds like my bad taste wet dream. However, we are not living in the defunct Soviet Union and, hopefully, neither is your love life. If you really want your outfit to work, what you’re looking for is not that perfect match but that perfect COMPLIMENT. Find yourself a leather jacket or a pea coat for fucksake.

Not only will you look great together but it just WORKS. Plus, there’s no flurry of bad denim to burn our retinas when you make out like hungry apes at parties and things. Besides, have you ever bought jeans and then tried to find a matching jacket? I have no idea what that’s actually like.. but.. I’ve HEARD that it’s near impossible! And when you do, it’s usually slightly mismatched. Do you know what denim on denim which is slightly mismatched is called? A CLASH. Furthermore, what happens when your best friend steals your jacket? How will you ever find such a perfect match again? Oh woe is me, your life is over, jump in a well already! Alternatively, go find yourself a (metaphorical) fur coat, a (actual) bottle of tequila and kick that 80’s hangover!

Case in point: